The Original edition
Where Bad Boyfriends Go
Wisdom from a Dad Who Knows a Guy with a Wood Chipper
HE SEEMED NICE.
Every father of a daughter knows the moment. The doorbell rings, the door opens, and there he is: the boyfriend.
Where Bad Boyfriends Go is a graph paper notebook for dads who smile politely, shake hands a little too firmly, and quietly check the fuel in the wood chipper. Inside: Dad's Rules for Dating My Daughter, two Boyfriend Evaluation Forms, an Alibi Log, and page after page of graph paper for very normal "measurements."
A perfect gag gift for any dad who owns a shovel "for gardening."
“My daughter deserves the best. Everyone else deserves a head start.”— Dad
100-page graph paper notebook · 1/4" grid · 8.5 x 11 in
Coming soon to Amazon
Dad's Rules for Dating My Daughter
- Come to the front door and ring the bell. I'll be the one sharpening the hedge trimmers.
- I don't need to know where you're going. I already know.
- Her curfew is 22:00. Yours is whenever I say.
- Call me "Sir." Not "Dude." Never "Bro."
- The dog likes everyone. If the dog doesn't like you, neither do I.
- Lie to me and I'll find out. I'm a dad. It's my superpower.
- I own a shovel, I know a man with a wood chipper and a very large garden. Just so you know.
- Treat her well and we'll get along great.
Boyfriend Evaluation Form
- Handshake: Firm / Limp / Suspicious
- Eye contact: Steady / Shifty / Sunglasses indoors
- He called me: Sir / Mr. ________ / Dude
- Brought her home: Before curfew / 5 minutes late / "We lost track of time"
- The dog's opinion: Wagged / Growled / Stared, unblinking
- Dad's verdict: Keeper / On probation / Introduce him to my friend with the wood chipper
Jokes at the foot of the pages
- Notes (not evidence)
- Dad's Notes: Totally Normal Stuff
- Measurements for the New Flower Bed
- Things I Will Calmly Discuss With Him
- Wood Chipper Maintenance Log
- Daisy Planting Schedule
- Nothing to See Here
- Garden Plans (Large Garden)
