Boulder County edition
Where Bad Boyfriends Go in Boulder County
Advice from a Boulder County Dad Who Knows Every Trail, Old Mine Shaft and Mountain Lion
HE SEEMED OUTDOORSY.
Every Boulder County dad knows the moment. A dusty Subaru or Camry pulls up, a guy in brand-new hiking boots climbs out, and there he is: the boyfriend.
Where Bad Boyfriends Go in Boulder County is a graph paper and blank page notebook for dads who smile politely, shake hands a little too firmly, and offer to show him an old gold mine between Nederland and Ward. Just the two of them. Inside: Dad's Rules for Dating My Daughter, three Boyfriend Evaluation Forms, a Trailhead Alibi Log, and page after page for very normal "route planning."
A perfect gag gift for any dad who owns a climbing rope and a shovel "for the garden."
“Relax, son. The mountain lions around here only go after the slow ones. How's your cardio?”— Dad
100 pages · 1/4" grid & blank pages · 8.5 x 11 in
Coming soon to Amazon
Dad's Rules for Dating My Daughter
- Park the Subaru in the driveway and come to the door. I'll be the one coiling the rope.
- I don't need to know which trailhead you're going to. I already know.
- Her curfew is 22:00. Sunset on the Flatirons is not an excuse.
- Call me "Sir." Not "Dude." Never "Brah."
- The dog likes everyone. If the dog doesn't like you, neither do I.
- Lie to me and I'll find out. Boulder County is not that big.
- I own a shovel, a climbing rope and a map of every old mine shaft from Gold Hill to Ward. Just so you know.
- Treat her well and I'll teach you to ski. Treat her badly and I'll teach you to ski the double blacks.
Boyfriend Evaluation Form
- Handshake: Firm / Limp / Still chalky from the gym
- Hiking boots: Broken in / Brand new / Flip-flops on a fourteener
- He called me: Sir / Mr. ________ / Brah
- Brought her home: Before curfew / 5 minutes late / "We got stuck in traffic on 36"
- First date: Chautauqua picnic / Pearl Street dinner / "Just a quick tube down Boulder Creek"
- The dog's opinion: Wagged / Growled / Stared, unblinking
- Dad's verdict: Keeper / On probation / Show him that old mine shaft near Jamestown
Jokes at the foot of the pages
- Notes (not evidence)
- Trail Notes: Totally Normal Stuff
- Old Mine Shafts I'd Like to Show Him
- Things I Will Calmly Discuss With Him in Mountain Lion Country
- Climbing Rope Inspection Log
- Mountain Lion Sightings (Best Spots, Feeding Times)
- Nothing to See Here, Just Ski Wax Receipts
- Garden Plans (Large Garden, Nederland)
- Pearl Street Buskers Who Owe Me a Favor
- Boulder Creek Tubing Trip (He Gets the Leaky Tube)
- Chautauqua Picnic Plans (Just the Two of Us, Son)
- Sanitas Parking Spots I Will Never Tell Him About
- Things I'll Say While He Circles the NCAR Lot
